Die Schadenboner[1]

Copyright (c) 2016, 2025 Thomas Kratman

This was, if memory serves, written shortly after the Hildebeest, AKA Felonia von Pantsuit, lost to Trump.

***********

“The greatest happiness is to vanquish your enemy, to drive him before you, to rob him of his wealth and possessions, to see his cities in ashes, to see those dear to him bathed in tears, to clasp to your breast his wives and daughters.”

- Genghis Khan

And, yes, some of us are very, very happy right about now. The following, however, is about and largely addressed to those who are very, very unhappy right about now.

Modern, young, metrosexual, multicultural, social justice mongering lefties are idiots. They are idiots wherever found, all over the world. They are spoiled children; ill-mannered, ill-bred, weak, ignorant, and stupid. They are historically illiterate. They have no idea of how the world really works. The only ideas they have outside of the fever swamps contained within their neutronium-dense skulls, filled to the brim with professorial sewage, are the kind of ideas that can only survive inside the echo chamber of a safe space.[2] They are, frankly, disgusting, and the similarities between them and actual human beings are minimal. Morally, intellectually, spiritually, they are cockroaches. Where it not that some of them are possibly larval stage human beings, creatures who may eventually grow up to be actual human beings, there would be little or no moral component to gassing them.[3]

I mean, sure, the younger generation, every younger generation, not least mine, has been somewhat childlike until well past the onset of puberty. Indeed, the consensus of neuroscientists now seems to be that our brains aren’t actually adult until we reach our mid-twenties, or even later.[4] But the lefty portion of this one is just special, in much the same way that kids riding the short bus are special.

So children, sit down, shut up, and listen; I’m going to explain to you why you didn’t get your childish fantasies handed to you by the adults, this time.

In the first place, there was your preferred candidate, the Hildebeest. You can mentally masturbate yourself that she was voted against because she was a woman. This is nonsense. She was voted against largely because she has a record of utter dishonesty going back to her youth. Twenty years ago New York Times columnist, William Safire, wrote:

“Americans of all political persuasions are coming to the sad realization that our First Lady — a woman of undoubted talents who was a role model for many in her generation — is a congenital liar. Drip by drip, like Whitewater torture, the case is being made that she is compelled to mislead, and to ensnare her subordinates and friends in a web of deceit.”[5]

And that was written before she was in a position to parley her office and power as secretary of state into kickbacks to the money laundering machine that is the Clinton Foundation.[6] That was before that pseudo-charity paid for a chunk of Chelsea Clinton’s wedding.[7] That was before she tried to cover her own incompetence[8] as Secretary of State, concerning the Benghazi attack and murders, by blaming a minor filmmaker whose film had nothing, NOTHING, to do with it, putting his life in danger and sending him to jail.

But none of that mattered to you, did it? None of it mattered because you’re foolish children who do not care, indeed, are incapable, of caring, about the woman’s lack of integrity, her incompetence, her criminal negligence, or her total inability to take responsibility; all that mattered to you was that the bitch didn’t have a dick and mouthed lefty pieties, in public, even while you ignored her pandering to global finance, in private.[9] How stupid must a youngster be to fail to understand that that means the bitch lies? Silly shits.

Again, though, you are stupid so I’ll recap it in small words and simple sentences. She was a bad person. She was known to be a bad person. She was known to be incompetent. She was known to be dishonest. Thus, she was a bad candidate. Thus, enough people refused to vote for her to keep her away from the White House china. And, lest you forget, you – modern, young, metrosexual, multicultural, social justice warrior – are stupid.

Bu’, bu’, but…you’re educated! You’re just so much better educated than the knuckle-dragging high school graduates of flyover country! Surely their votes shouldn’t count! Surely, at least, yours should count for more!

No, you are not educated; you are propagandized. Propagandization is the exact opposite of education. You have not been taught to think; you have been told what to think and taught not to think. Your skulls have been filled to the brim, as mentioned above, with left wing professorial shit. Not only should your votes not count for more; you should not be allowed to vote at all. You’re not mentally fit for the responsibility. As for the high school graduates of flyover country, no, they don’t have your sheepskins, and precisely because of that, because their native intelligence and talent have, unlike yours, not been suppressed or eradicated, they are in every way more fit for citizenship and its responsibilities, to include voting, than you are. They’re not, for example, dumb enough to vote for politicians and policies that will leave their children with a standard of living comparable to that found in Bangla Desh or Haiti. You people, on the other hand, are just that dumb.

Speaking of them, that misogynistic, racist, homophobic cohort of just ever so privileged white males, they’re not only more effectively intelligent than you are, they’re, as a general rule, none of the things you accuse them of. I won’t even try to convince you of that, though; your self-satisfied[10] smugness and the ignorance of your misguided certainty would surely defeat any such effort.

Let me tell you, though, yet another way in which they’re a lot brighter than you are; they’re bright enough to realize that the globalist elites, who don’t care a fig for them, or you, or me, are the enemy. You’re dumb enough to “Occupy Wall Street” and accomplish nothing. They’re bright enough to vote against a woman who was completely the creature of moneyed interests, utterly beholden to them, US hyper-rich, international globalist, and outright enemy (Saudi Arabia, I am looking at you).

And they’re bright enough to vote against the party, the Democratic Party, that used to represent them but has long ere now sold them out.

Then, too, there’s the most amusing aspect of your spoiled brat tendency to temper tantrums, the call for secession of the left coast, to form what I suppose we should come to call the “Socialist Peoples’ Democratic Republic of Moonbattia.” Now think about that. You hate guns and war and don’t know much of anything about either. The bulk of the people who would be inside your prospective borders and who do know something about guns and war hate your guts. That’s Strike One. Because of privilege and diversity and a host of your other magic words, you’ll want to provide maximum feasible disadvantage to those who might otherwise be willing to defend you, straight males. That’s Strike Two. By leaving the union you will ensure that a) other lefty states must as well, which b) will ensure a right wing, no, an overwhelming right wing majority in the rest of the United States, probably in perpetuity. And then you won’t control or defend your southern border, indeed, you’ll invite Mexico in, though Mexico won’t be content to stay in your pissant idiots’ paradise, which means that to defend ourselves we’ll have to invade, crush you, reconstruct you, and certainly never allow you to vote in the US again, except for those larger portions of your area that will side with us. That’s Strike Three and you ninnies will be out.

Contemplate these things from your parents’ basement where, after twenty-eight years of Democrat, Globalist, RINO – Democrat by another name, New World Order rule, you’re still living, and doomed to live, because you cannot get a decent job and, after four or five expensive and wasteful college years, you still know nothing that anyone is willing to pay for and have signed yourself into debt slavery for life for, to boot.

And you say they’re dumb?

---

[1] Schadenboner, n, f., Germlish. The erection experienced by a male rightie at the misery lefties feel when they are utterly routed and rejected, horrified, humiliated, and hounded from power. Those experiencing a Schadenboner lasting more than two days should seek medical attention (h/t Francis Turner). Note: This title was chosen and this column was inspired by and is dedicated to Cora Buhlert, of Bremen, Germany, based on a rant she posted, here: http://corabuhlert.com/2016/11/10/attention-rant-incoming/

[2] Note that Cora, above, couldn’t stand to have her safe space invaded with contrary opinions, hence allowed no comments. And she’s better than most, I assure you.

[3] Older lefties were better. Many of them were monsters, of course, at least as bad as Nazis, and just about all of the regimes they fostered were monstrous, but there were and are some genuine human beings in there, nonetheless.

[4] http://mentalhealthdaily.com/2015/02/18/at-what-age-is-the-brain-fully-developed/ And we let you children vote? In Heaven’s name, why? Go ahead and read down the list of debilities found in their childlike brains and think about the wrong direction our politics have taken since dropping the voting age.

[5] https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/hillary-clintons-historical-problem-with-honesty/2016/01/26/3ba3387e-c46e-11e5-9693-933a4d31bcc8_story.html, quoting this: http://www.nytimes.com/1996/01/08/opinion/essay-blizzard-of-lies.html. Go ahead and read both of them; the women lies about everything.

[6] http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/elections/2016/08/23/experts-new-clinton-state-dept-emails-show-donor-access-not-favors/89118156/

[7] http://nypost.com/2016/11/06/chelsea-clinton-used-foundation-to-help-pay-for-wedding-emails/

[8] http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2016/09/11/what-benghazi-attack-taught-me-about-hillary-clinton.html

[9] http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2016/oct/8/hillary-clinton-says-she-has-both-public-and-priva/

[10] Hence satisfied with very, very little.